Monday, December 12, 2016

CineGamer #10: Hostage Negotiator/Hostage Negotiator

When all of Jason's friends cancel on his game of Eldritch Horror, he decides to play a 1 player game called Hostage Negotiator. Then he talks about a Lifetime (probably) movie called Hostage Negotiator. And things get weird. Like, Jason gets shirtless in one scene weird. Don't say you weren't warned.

Monday, October 31, 2016

The CineGamer Halloween Special

Presented for the approval of the CineGamer society, a ghost (Jason Soto) welcomes a group of psychics into the abandoned mansion he's been residing in for almost 100 years, in hopes that they'll be able to solve the mystery surrounding his death. Will they succeed and free the ghost or will they fail and suffer the consequences?!?

Saturday, October 15, 2016

So, You Wanna Do A 24-Hour Movie Marathon?

(Originally written on October 15th, 2009)

Hi, I'm Jason Soto. You may remember me from such helpful articles like "Virignity: Glad to Get Rid of it" and "Why The Sun Is Your Enemy". Today I'm here to talk to you about something many amatuer movie watchers have tried and failed at: the 24-hour movie marathon.

I've done my fair share of these, starting in 1996 and the latest one being 2008. I've also attended B-Fest, a 24-hour film fest, twice. I'm what you may call an expert.

There you are, sitting at home saying "I wanna do a 24 hour movie marathon. I'll rent 12 movies and watch them in a row! WEEE!!!" Sure, Susie or Johnny, that may sound like fun, but if you do that be prepared for something unexpected: DEATH!!!! Ok, no. But you'll wish you were dead because your bladder will be full and your seat will more or less implode upon itself. I will now instruct you on how to host a successful 24-hour movie marathon.


The first step is planning. You have to set a date. Then you have to plan what movies you will be watching. This is important because you need to set a limit on how many you'll watch. Me and my friend Bill made the mistake of thinking we could do at least 20 films within 24 hours. We were young and dumb. On the 24th hour, we weren't the same. Bill was taken the hospital and I now have waking nightmares. Don't let this happen to you.


Generally, most movies are around two hours, unless you get some huge ass epic movie that needs 2 VHS tapes or 3 DVD's. Avoid those at all costs.

1. Pick movies that have regular normal running times. So avoid "The Godfather", "Titanic" or "Lawrence of Arabia" and stick to stuff like "Night of the Creeps", "Friday the 13th," or even "Child's Play." Pay attention to the run times.
2. Do no more than 10 movies, although that'll be pushing it. I find you can normally squeeze in 8 or 9. Why? Because you have to do the following:

A-Go to the bathroom
C-Rest your eyes.

I can't stress enough the importance of those three things. You have to give yourself time to rest.

Here's what I do during a 24-hour movie marathon. After, say, the third movie I take a 15 minute break. Go outside. Rest your eyes. Give your ass a rest. You'll probably save the bathroom breaks for in between movies, which depending on your bladder you could do. But my friend Bill's bladder is the size of a chickpea and we do find ourselves pausing the movie.

When it comes to food, you should stick to the basics. Order a pizza. Get a lot cause you'll be munching on that during the entire time. I recommend this cause it's easy, can be eaten with one hand, and come it, it's fucking pizza. When it comes to drinks, caffine, caffine, caffine. You can do Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Jolt, or if you want Coffee. Whatever. You are staying up for 24 hours, you need something to keep the blood flowing. DO NOT TAKE ANY PILLS. I can't stress this enough. We've all seen the Saved By The Bell episode where Jessie gets addicted to caffine pills. I'm so exicted indeed.

If you must, go ahead and have 12 movies, but make two or three of them "backups", meaning if time goes by fast and you watched all 8 or 10 movies and you got at least 4 hours left, you got some backups. Make these backups movies you do kinda wanna see but you're not in a hurry to see them so if you don't get to them today, no big deal.


3. You got your food, you got your movies, and you gave yourself time to rest. This part is optional but might I suggest you have a friend or two along for this ride. Only because what you're basically doing is shutting yourself in for one full day and one full day with no human contact can do strange things to a human being. At least if one of the movies is bad you and your friend can make fun of it. Plus it'll be much like "Nightmare on Elm Street" where you'll be keeping each other up. Thankfully, I'm unable to sleep when there's any kind of noise on so I'm good for this.

In fact, just invite me over. I'll be like Jamie Kennedy in "Scream", shouting out rules and stuff. I'll be right BACK!!!


That's all I got. I hope you learned something. If you have any input or questions leave a comment. Class dismissed.


Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Top Ten Lists And Coughy-Cough Cough.

So I realized I haven't updated this site in awhile. I thought I posted the last video here but I see that I did not. I apologize for that. Let me tell you what I been up to since that last post.

First, I went to GenCon at the beginning of August. I made some new friends there and talked to a few publishers about some games they had out. Here's one on Bill And Ted's Excellent Board Game. Here's one from Big Potato Games. And finally, here's me learning how to play Sharknado: The Board Game.

Immediately after GenCon, I got a cough. I didn't feel like I had a cold, it was just an annoy cough that came and went throughout the day. Some days I felt better than others but I was doing alright. I had this cough all throughout August. Toward the end of August, I had a week vacation from my job, which was perfect because it gave me time to work on the next episode of CineGamer.

During that week, I wrote and filmed the episode, which took about 2 days. On the 3rd day, I went to upload the footage to my camera when I noticed an error message. I unplugged my camera and plugged it back in and it connected with no error message...but there was no footage to be found on the memory card. It got wiped somehow. Pissed off, I realized I wouldn't have time to refilm everything again cause September was coming up and I was planning on taking that month off to work on another project I have going on and prepare for October. So I made a video explaining all of that. I won't link to it cause it's pretty much just me saying what I just said and that's it.

Now it's September and I go back to work. But the cough isn't going away. Then it finally does go away for a few days, which makes me excited. Then just one day, out of the blue, my cough gets WORSE. The worse it's ever been. So bad that I couldn't sleep for an entire night. The next day I called off of work and decided to see a doctor to get this checked out and hope to get some antibiotics and be on my merry way.

I see a doctor and she gets all super worried cause my blood pressure is super high and my lungs sound terrible. "You should go the ER. I think you have pneumonia". Mind you, this was literally 2 days after Hillary Clinton was on the news for having it. So this was weird timing. Since I know pneumonia is a serious thing, I do check into the ER where I get poked, prodded, treated like a leper, and asked what my name and birthday was roughly 2000 times.

After being in the ER for what felt like 15 hours (it was maybe 3 hours at most), I see a doctor who goes "Yep, it's pneumonia but we need to get a CAT Scan just to make sure." One CAT Scan later and they said it's in the back of my lungs. Oh joy. They're also worried about the high blood pressure so they hook me up to an IV and pump me full of all kinds of drugs to not only treat the pneumonia but the blood pressure as well. At this point, it's almost 11PM at night and I'm still hoping to go home soon, when one of the 20 nurses who poked me comes in and says "OK, we got your room ready!!" Apparently, I'm staying the night for observation. GREAAAAT!

After texting my boss to tell her I'm pretty much not coming in to work the rest of the week, I go to my room, which is RIGHT across the hall from a nurses station. So I couldn't get any sleep on this night thanks to the coughing AND hearing all the nurses gab all night.

The next morning, I constantly ask when am I going home and I guess being persistent pays off cause after another round of visits and some prescriptions, I'm on my way home, where I just chill out for the rest of the week. Well...about two or three days after my hospital visit, I made my first Top Ten list, where I count down the 10 movies that disturbed me.

Anyway, I'm doing much, much, better now. I did make my second Top Ten list video, about my favorite party games that I own. I hope you enjoy it. Next time you all hear from me, it'll be on Halloween when I post the terrifying Halloween Episode of CineGamer!! OOOH!!!!! See you then!

Saturday, July 16, 2016

CineGamer #8: Exploding Kittens/The Uninvited

I show you how to play the awesome Kickstarter darling Exploding Kittens and then review the craziest cat movie I could get my hands on called The Uninvited
Also, I'm joined by Toby and Sharon to play 3 rounds of Exploding Kittens.

Review: Ghostbusters (2016)

After what felt like for-fucking-ever, the 2016 reboot/remake of Ghostbusters finally arrived. Ever since it was announced over a year ago, it became one of the most controversial films to date, even though a movie about a farting corpse exists. The backlash seemed to stem, at first, why remake Ghostbusters? It's a classic film, just leave it alone. But we live in the era now where every movie under the sun is going to be remade so it was inevitable.

Once director Paul Feig was attached to it, then I got nervous. I'm not a huge fan of his movies but I don't hate them either. And to be fair, I haven't seen Spy nor did I finish watching the entire series of "Freaks & Geeks", which I wasn't a fan of either. Then when it was announced the main cast would comprise of women, I knew immediately Melissa McCarthy would be one. And again, I'm not a huge fan of hers. All her humor seems to be based on how weird and awkward she is. Which is OK once but every time?

Little by little, more details came out and the rest of the cast was announced. I love Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon is awesome on "SNL", and Leslie Jones was a surprise announcement but I liked it. So 3/4th's of the cast I was on board with. So I was willing to give it a shot.

Fast forward a bit and a trailer was released. The trailer consisted of gross out humor and what looked like crappy CGI effects. It's a terrible trailer. So naturally people hated it. And what made this unfair was a certain group of people said that people only hated it because it starred 4 women and had nothing to do with how the movie looked. And these same people said if you hated the trailer and refused to see it, it's because you hated women.

I've seen plenty of movie trailers, both with all men and all women, and said "I will be skipping that movie because I'm not interested." I'm sure lots of people have done that. I'm not sure what makes this movie so different. But I've said since that trailer was released that I will wait to reserve any judgement until I see the movie and I was still willing to give it a chance.

I finally got to see it last night.

First, let's get the plot out of the way. Kristen Wiig plays Erin, a professor at Princeton who's up for tenure. But a book she wrote with Melissa McCarthy's character Abby years ago about ghosts and how they're real suddenly resurfaces and Erin, who's a science professor, knows this will ruin her chance of tenure cause everyone will think she's crazy, gets nervous.

So Erin tracks down Abby, whom she hasn't spoken to in years, at a community college where she studies the paranormal alongside Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), who is an engineer and knows how to make awesome ghost catching equipment. While encountering Abby, Erin mentions that a guy who runs a museum found a ghost haunting it and wanted them to look into it, which they immediately jump at the chance to.

After the encounter with the ghost goes viral, Erin is fired and she, Abby, and Jillian decide to actually form the "Ghostbusters". They hire Chris Hemsworth, who plays Kevin, a super dumb guy to be their receptionist and they meet Patty (Leslie Jones) when she tells them about a ghost she saw in the subway. They find out that some guy is letting ghosts into our world because he's been rejected his entire life and this is way to get back at the world.

This Ghostbusters not only features cameos from, well, all the living members from the original films, but a lot of nods to it as well. Including the catchphrase and even locations. This movie also feels very 2016 with the movie taking it's time telling us the origin of the Ghostbusters instead of the 1984 version which had them start out then get famous for catching ghosts and now they're known worldwide.

The movie did make some clever use of the things from the old film, including making the ghost in the Ghostbusters logo an actual ghost they have to bust. There are some pretty funny moments and I'm happy to say that Melissa McCarthy's usual "schtick" isn't in the film and for the most part she plays it straight or at times dead pan, which works out so much better. The acting is great and honestly, all four ladies did an amazing job with this film. They had a lot of great action scenes and the scene stealer was Kate McKinnon.

Her character is so quirky and weird that it becomes too much but turns itself back around and makes us love her again. And she had the MOST BADASS FIGHT SCENE in the movie, it actually made the audience I saw this with cheer when it was over. And for anyone worried about Leslie Jones being over the top, she just tows the line but manages to reel it in before it becomes too obnoxious.

Whoever made the trailers for this movie should be fired because it doesn't represent this movie at all. They could've included some better jokes and not focus too much on the gross out humor, which there wasn't that much of. To anyone who doesn't want to see this movie for whatever reason, you should seriously reconsider it. Is it the greatest movie in the world? No. But it's a summer popcorn flick and in that regard, it does it's job. I hope they make a sequel cause I'm dying to see where they go from here.

Speaking of, stay throughout the entire credits, there's an interesting scene at the end.

4 stars.