About Jason Soto

Jason Soto was born in a log cabin on a cold blistery June on the side of a mountain. Ever since that fateful day, he has made it his mission to no longer be born on the side of mountains. Instead, he has developed a love of board games and movies, none of which anyone on this planet has seen. His favorite board game is Cat-opoly and his favorite movie is Dorf On Golf.

30 Days of Horror: Week 1

30 Days of Horror: Week 1

Like I said in the intro post to this event, I wouldn't be writing a review each day I watch the movie but instead I'll provide a recap of everything I watched and give some quick thoughts. 

I couldn't wait for October to begin so I can start this project! I'm excited! Are you? Anyway, here's what I watched in Week 1!

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Day 1: Dracula (1979)

I found this DVD in a used DVD shop and I never heard of this version. It had Frank Longella as Dracula but there's so much more gold in the casting. Laurence Olivier plays Van Helsing and he's fantastic as you would expect. But the prize has to go to Donald Pleasence as Dr. Seward. This dude was amazing. He runs a sanitarium and doesn't seem to give a crap about his patients in a hilarious way. They just run around the place, screaming while he walks through going "whatever" while his employees tries to reign in the inmates. There's a scene where Mina Van Helsing is bitten by Dracula (more on him in a minute) and the next morning Mina is having some kind of attack. So good ol' Donald comes in and sees she can't breath literally screams in her face "BREATHE DAMN YOU BREATHE!!!!" and starts shaking her and slapping her around until she dies. Then a mere minutes later, where Lucy Seward is mourning the loss of her friend, Doc Seward is slurping up runny eggs and drinking tea. He just did NOT give a shit.

Ok, Frank Longella's Dracula. He just oozed '70s sexuality as Dracula. He would come in, woo Mina, undo her blouse so he can bite her neck, and fly away as a sexy '70s disco bat. Later in the movie, Dracula is now woo'ing Lucy and as he's biting her, it turns into a club scene with loud music blaring and the background of him biting her is replaced with lights exploding and shining all over the place. It was so '70s and I loved it. I recommend this film if you want to see how the late 1970's handled Dracula. Or I guess you could watch the Hammer Studio versions. Whatever.

4 our of 5 stars.

Day 2: Inside

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I first saw this movie 9 years ago before I moved to Indianapolis from Chicago. My friend Bill and I decided to have one last movie marathon before I moved and this was one of the movies we watched. It's a French film so there's subtitles which scare people for some reason. And it's brutal as fuck.

Sarah is very pregnant on Christmas Eve and she's alone. Her husband died in a car accident four months prior and she's feeling depressed and lonely. Before going to bed, a woman shows up at her house trying to break in. After the cops are unable to find her, the woman manages to sneak in and starts terrorizing Sarah, attempting to cut the baby out of her. Sarah fights back and locks herself in her bathroom. Things get crazy gory from there.

Man, this film is brutal. They don't hold back on the deaths and to me, that's a good thing. Every stab, every shot, ever cut, you see it in graphic detail. The French don't fuck around with their violence. If you can't handle gore, you should stay away. But if you love it like I do, you should give this a watch.

4 out of 5.

Day 3: Aliens

I'm not gonna recap the movie cause I'm sure you know what it's about. I'm just gonna mention that I watched it on VHS cause I'm awesome. 

4.5 out of 5.

Day 4: Ax'Em

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God damn, this movie is terrible. It's a terrible that's hard to describe. The best way I can describe it is imagine if you, dear reader at home (or whereever you are), decide one day to make a movie so you grab a camera for 100 bucks at Wal-Mart and force your friends to "act" in it and manage to film in the woods cause nobody owns the woods, man. And you made up the "story" as you went along. And you had a vague understanding how movies work. Then you spend an entire weekend to make this movie. That's what watching Ax'Em is like. I don't know whats more hilarious: the scene at the beginning where the cameraman decides to get artsy and circle around a group of friends talking but failed to tell anybody else he was going to do this, so he gets a shot of the guy who holds up the clapper walking away and realizing he's on camera and quickly hides. OR later in the movie where a girl in a blue shirt is running in the woods, runs out of the scene and then we see that happen again immediately. This is a delightfully stupid movie. I can't even give this a zero cause I'm entertained by it.

1 out of 5.

Day 5: The Poughkeepsie Tapes

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Fuck me, this movie. This made my #1 of movies that creeped me out the movie and it still lives up to that title. Done as a documentary about a notorious serial killer that stalked Poughkeepsie, NY in the 90's and early 2000's, cops find almost 300 tapes belong to the killer that show all of his brutal crimes. Mixed in with the tapes are eyewitness and expert testimony. The most fucked up part for me is how the killer just simply entered the home of one of his victims, chilled out in a closet for a bit, then brutally killed one and kidnapped the other, keeping her as a sex slave for 8 years. It's all disturbing and messed up and I highly recommend it.

4.5 out of 5.

Day 6: The Unborn

This movie was so wacky I had to write a full review. You can read that here.

Day 7: The Eerie Midnight Horror Show

Worst movie about a wooden crucified Satan statue coming to life and raping and possessing people I've ever seen. This was one of those repackaged films where they took a movie from the '70s and gave it a different title. I'm sure it was originally called "Satan Enters My Body On A August Moon". I don't even know where the fuck they got "Eerie Midnight Horror Show" from. There was no midnight horror show and it certainly wasn't eerie. Pretty much just an Italian rip off of The Exorcist.

0 out of 5. 

Since this is also half a board gaming site, I'm gonna mention that I got to play Fury of Dracula with my friends. I got to play as Dracula and no I didn't get to bite people while disco effects happened behind me, unfortunately. But it's a fun game and I wish I could play it more often. I'm sure the 3-4 hour play time is a huge turn off but whatever. I enjoy it.

OK, that's it for this week! What a hell of a start. Funny how I watched two movies about pregnant women in peril. Let's see what next week has in store for us! Well, I know what's coming up cause the stack is off to my right. But you're gonna have to wait to see what's in store...for us...or me...you know what nevermind. See you next week!

-Jason

Some New Things

Some New Things

30 Days of Horror Day 6: The Unborn

30 Days of Horror Day 6: The Unborn