Best of 2017...Before December Even Begins!
For some reason, websites and blogs love to do Best of lists at the beginning of 2017 even though there's still a whole month left. But if we're going to ignore all the movies and games that are going to come out in December and just focus on the previous 11 months, let's do it! Here are:
CineGamer's Best of 2017 In Movies And Games!
Sure, I haven't played the latest T.I.M.E Stories Expansion yet nor Pandemic Legacy Season 2 and I won't get to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi or The Disaster Artist until later this month but fuck those! Let's go!
First off...movies! I don't really watch a lot of newer movies in theaters. For one, there's not a lot that get put out that I like to see. And another, it's hard for me to go. But somehow, I've only seen 12 movies so really this will be a Top 12 list by default. But I will rank them.
12. The Bye-Bye Man-God this movie fucking sucked. If there was a way to give 0 stars on Letterboxd (you should follow me on there btw) I would've. I've seen my fair share of generic horror movies but this is a generic horror movie OF A generic horror movie. Three main characters you don't give a crap about, a bunch of people who are only there to be victims, and a story that makes zero sense. In case you're like "I don't remember this movie coming out in 2017" it came out in theaters for about 5 minutes before the movie studio quietly ushered it on DVD the next day. It's about these college kids who move into a house and find the words THE BYE BYE MAN written on a end table (seriously) and because they said the name, The Bye Bye Man, a demonic guy who slowly drives people crazy to the point they kill everyone around them and then themselves, they get haunted. There was only one survivor of the Bye Bye Man and she was played by Faye Dunaway, which proves that even actors from the 70's shouldn't blow their residual checks on booze and coke. Anyway, just say Bye-Bye to this movie, man! (I'm sure I stole that line from somewhere. If I did, I apologize. If not...yay me?)
11. Little Evil-My podcast partner Nolahn wanted to cover this on our show The Lair of the Unwanted and because I couldn't think of anything better at the time I said why not? This is a Netflix Original that is a take on child demon movies, mainly The Omen. Adam Scott plays this guy who married Evangeline Lily, who has a kid named Lucas who is pretty much literally the anti-Christ. But Adam Scott tries to be understanding and accepting even though Lucas goes out of his way to try to kill him. It's a dark comedy with a lot of heart but some of the jokes don't always land. And this is a testament of all the good movies I've seen this year cause this one is just merely OK but it's number 11. So the rest of the list are pretty solid movies.
10. XX-Eh, ok, we're still in the "just OK" category. I wrote a review of this earlier this year and I think I said everything I need to say in that.
9. The Dark Tower-People didn't like this movie and I'm not sure why. I enjoyed it. Yeah, there are 8 other movies I enjoyed more but this nearly wasn't as bad as everyone was making it out to be. I thought Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey were great in their roles and the kid playing...the kid was good as well. I'm not sure what people were expecting. I hope they make the other movies but I doubt it.
8. The Lego Batman Movie-Oddly enough, one of the best Batman movies made in awhile, and I'm fan of all of them. Yes, I even like the Affleck ones. I don't have a lot to say about this cause either you already seen it and love it or didn't care and didn't see it. If you've seen it, then you already know how awesome it is. If you didn't, well you suck. Moving on.
7. Spider-Man: Homecoming-The fact this is number 7 shouldn't bother you. The rest are literally some of my favorite movies that I've seen this year and ranking this part was hard. But I really loved this take on Spider-Man. I'm glad they didn't give us the origin story AGAIN and its entry in the Marvel Universe is pretty amazing. I do hope they stick with this Spider-Man so we can FINALLY see an adult Spider-Man and stop having him be a teenager.
6. Baby Driver-I will watch anything with Edgar Wright's name attached to it. Even if it was Edgar Wright's "The Bye-Bye Man" which I'm sure he could improve. But this movie was like something I've always wanted to see: a movie based on popular songs and how they fit into situations. This was a hell of an idea and I loved it! Yeah, the name is a bit weird but I'm willing to overlook that and enjoy the scenery.
5. Wonder Woman-"TYPICAL MAN! PUTTING A BUNCH OF DUDE MOVIES IN YOUR TOP 4! THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN YOUR NUMBER 1 MOVIE, WOMAN HATER!!!!!" No no, I loved this movie! It was honestly the best DC movie in a long while (well, since Nolan's Batman trilogy) and I'm glad it's getting such high praise and there's gonna be another one. But I think it would've been better if a guy directed it. (Kidding, kidding...honest.)
4. John Wick 2-I had no idea how they were going to top the first movie and holy fuck did they top it! This one involves going all around the world and double crosses and triple crosses and no dogs dying and that ending! MAN! I can't wait for Chapter 3! How will they top it?!
3. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2-I had no idea how they were going to top the first movie and holy fuck did they top it! Hmm...that sounds familiar. Anyway, I loved the first film and this one didn't disappoint. The inclusion of Kurt Russell, Sylvester Stallone, and I'll just say "that arrow scene" oh man! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!
2. Get Out-I thought this was going to be my movie of the year, even back in February. But OH MY GOD is this movie brilliant! Ever since I've seen it I been reading articles about it and picking up on all the context clues and it all made me realize how much of a genius Jordan Peele is. The fact this movie did so well worries me that'll make a shitty sequel. But no, they don't need to make a sequel. I think this universe is done. Just leave it at the one film. Instead just give Peele more money and let him do whatever because clearly he's talented enough to do it. Here's to more Jordan Peele films!
And finally, the number 1 movie of 2017 is...
1. It-OH MY FUCKING GOD! This not only the best horror movie of 2017, it's the best horror movie in a LONG time! This is how you do a horror movie! The tension and the creepiness and the acting, just everything was done right. And I love they split up the book into two movies, with the second movie coming out later next year and featuring the adult versions of these characters. This is why It is my number 1 movie of the year!
OK, now onto board games. So at the beginning of the year, I took on a challenge to play 1000 games. Not 1000 different games, just a 1000 plays of games. And since I have to end the year at the beginning of December and not, you know, at the end of the year, I only got 289 plays in. I'm sure between now and December 31st I could've gotten in 711 plays in. Oh well...anyway, what were some of my favorite games that came out in 2017? Not a lot, honestly. I played mainly older games or stuff that came out last year. I did play some stuff that came out during GenCon. I'll just do some highlights.
First off, I got to play The Godfather: Corleone's Empire which is a worker placement game set in The Godfather universe. This game is awesome cause it involves killing other people's mob guys and sending them in the river. It's pretty awesome and cutthroat.
Then I got to play Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Card Game. Well, I played a demo of it and from what I played, it was pretty cool. I need to get it and play an actual game of it cause I'm still a little foggy on some of the rules.
I played Professor Evil And The Citadel of Time, a cooperative game where you and your friends are trying to stop Professor Evil from stealing artifacts from the past and I know it sounds like Carmen Sandiego and yeah it sort of is but it sort of isn't at the same time. Anyway, I enjoyed it and can't wait to play again.
I want to play Shark Island again cause the first time I played it it was my friend's copy and it was Friday night during GenCon and he literally said "Hey, I need to run somewhere for 10 minutes, learn this game and we'll play when we get back" and it was somewhat complicated. One player is the shark and the others are people trying to kill the shark and there's blackjack involved? It's weird but I need to try it again during a calmer session.
There's Viral, which is a game about diseases in the body and you're trying to infect as many organs as you can while messing up the other players. It's a lot of fun and can mess with people easily.
Bears vs Babies is from the same people who gave us Exploding Kittens and you have to build a crazy army of bears to fight off an army of babies. Yeah I'm gonna leave that description the way it is.
Stop Thief! was a remake of a game from the '70s where you're trying to solve a crime and stop a thief (hence the clever title). The great thing about this game is you get to use an app that tracks where the thief is and you have to guess where on the board he is. Another game I want to play a lot of but don't get the chance to.
Do you like being depressed while playing a board game? You should play This War of Mine: The Board Game! Set in another country during a war, you and your friends control 3 survivors and try to have them survive until the end of the war. Spoiler alert: you won't. And boy is it brutal. Somehow fun...but brutal.
And of course there were two expansions for T.I.M.E Stories, Lumen Fidei which takes place during the Spanish Inquisition and Expedition Endurance which...I can't even fully talk about without spoiling it...so I won't.
Finally, I have to talk about the WORST GAME of 2017. Game so bad I played it exactly 6 months ago and I still haven't forgotten about it. I'm talking about Dark Souls: The Board Game. Seriously, FUCK THIS GAME! I mean literally, fuck this game. Cut a hole in the side of it and fuck it until it's a broken mass, then drop it off in a ditch somewhere and let it die. This game is terrible.
What's so bad about it? You are doing the same exact things over and over again. I mean THE SAME EXACT THINGS. Same enemies, same spaces, same treasures. Nothing different. You have to do this over and over and over again in order to get more souls in order to buy more stuff so you can eventually go to a different part of the game and do that over and over and over again. Repeat until you blow your brains out. Just awful. I don't even want to try out to the video game.
OK, that's it. Those are my best of things from January 1st till November 30th. I guess December is just a dead space where we don't talk about anything that happens in it. Yeah, I could've waited until January to do this post but if other sites like Entertainment Weekly, Buzzfeed, and Vanity Fair are going to do it, I should be competitive and do the same, no?
Anyway, happy new year!!